Does He See Me?

Wondering out loud, will Nat be proud of me?
If he found out that I also teach during Saturdays, or that if I maintained blogs?
If he saw how tight a ship I ran in the office, or how I conduct my meetings, what would he say?
Does he secretly hope to have my life, when he sees me arriving at work in expensive cars?
Does he appreciate the Chopards, the Panerais and the Technomarines worn during days off?
What would he say if he found out I live in a property managed by our company, that I am a resident?
How would he react if he saw the house my family lives in?
Does he see me the way I see him?
What sense do these things have if he doesn't notice me?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad2

Not Applicable Today

Pretty difficult to work today. Since I only have 2 days to finish 5 days worth of work, I am up to my neck in paperworks that need to be filed, and minutes that need to be transcribed. To make matters worse, I can't stop thinking about him. Damn! Listening to Phillip Phillips' rendition of Usher's U Got It Bad, and I am thinking, this voice belongs to Nat (yes, that's the codename I gave Mr. Weekend in Baguio). This infatuation has gotten to stop! It's not healthy anymore. These thoughts are so not applicable today!

Listening to a cheesy Toni Gonzaga song on my iPod while finishing minutes.

"Catch me I'm fallin' for you and I don't know what to do. How can something so wrong feel so right all along? How can time be so wrong for love to come along? How can love let it grow when it has no place to go and I can't go along pretending that love isn't here to stay."

I lectured my mother the other week about the lyrics of songs. Apparently during their time, they'd just sing to the songs without minding what it was saying. The thing about me is I listen to what the lyrics are trying to say. I don't want to be mindlessly saying something obscene.

I feel I'm a DJ and I end up playing songs that I see as current themes of what I'm feeling.

Point being, if this song is the constant in my iPod right now, I don't think Nat is turning out to be healthy for me. Got to find a distraction from him then.

Out Damned Spot

I remember the spot he was trying to clean on the Porter bag while along Gibraltar in Baguio. Took a damp rag and wiped the spot.

Wouldn't want to look and give meaning to simple actions, especially coming from a straight married man. I hate this.

Weekend In New England

I have been a fan of Barry Manilow since I was a kid. One his songs that I've been obsessing over for quite some time now is Weekend in New England. For those who aren't familiar with this song, check out the lyrics and the music posted on Youtube.

Perhaps what I love best about Barry Manilow's songs are the stories being told. Most of his songs tell a story, none of the crap that we often get nowadays. Weekend in New England, in my opinion, speaks of a married man who takes trips to New England where he carries out an affair. Some even say that Reba McEntire's song Whoever's in New England is the wife's perspective on the husband's romantic trysts in New England with his mistress.

"Last night, I waved goodbye. Now it seems years. I'm back in the city, where nothing is clear."

For the first time, I am acknowledging feelings that I think I might have with an officemate of mine. I am in a relationship right now. I do love my boyfriend, so much. This is me releasing these feelings I have for someone else.

We're about the same age. He was born the same month as me, the same year as me. We were born 15 days apart. We started in the company the same year. I would notice him from the first few days of training. He has one of those nerdy boy next door looks that make geeks like me want to swoon over him. He's about as tall as me. He's quite lean. I love his complexion. But that was it. My property is different from his. He's assigned to a low-end property, and I'm assigned to high end one.

After the training, I didn't get to see him much. I would see him in company parties and functions, but we don't really interact. In fact, it wasn't until over a year later when we interacted again. My boss at the time made me perform for the Christmas party. I was going to sing, and he was one of the dancers. They were going to dance to that song with the lyrics, "I was dying inside to hold you. I couldn't believe what I felt for you. Dying inside, I was dying inside, but I couldn't bring myself to touch you."

He could dance. And he would always attend our practices, even if he had to commute all the way from Quezon City to Makati. I think I had a crush on him then.

"And tell me when will our eyes meet? When can I touch you? When will this strong yearning end?"

Another year went by, and I was asked to help out for another Christmas presentation. Since I had just come from an operation, I couldn't really actively participate in the presentation, so I was asked to help with the costumes, and the make-up. He was part of the group again.

An innocent crush can change quickly to desire, and when he was changing costumes in Intercontinental Manila's function room, he just took off his pants in front of everyone, I was shocked seeing his bare chest and his boxers. I couldn't stand it. I had to excuse myself. Imagining what I would have wanted to do with his smooth chest, and wanting to pull of his flimsy boxers, I chose to leave the function room.

I went out to purchase oil and  black body make up, because the men in the group were to wear a "bahag" and nothing else, save for their oiled and "messed up" torsos.

I came back and everybody starting oiling and applying black body make up on themselves. He asked me to apply oil and make up on his torso. I wasn't breathing at all while I was doing so.

"Time in New England took me away to long rocky beaches and you by the bay. We started a story whose end must now wait."

Last Friday, I went to Baguio. It was our company's annual summer outing. He was part of the first batch. I was trying so hard not to mind him at all. There was a bonfire Friday evening where our HR announced the group leaders for the scavenger hunt to be held the following day. I was one of the group leaders. I went up and was given a list of the employees who belonged to my group. I started reading from the list, but my heart stopped on the last name, and I hesitated before I said his name out loud.

The scavenger hunt was quite an ordeal for me. I was physically not fit to run around Baguio looking for clues. Furthermore, I was sporting a hangover from drinking the night before. We rode a jeep going to one destination, and he was sitting beside me. He would pass payment from other commuters to me to give to the driver, and our hands would touch. Each touch was electric to me.

We were running to Strawberry Farm, and he must have realized I was having difficulty. He took my Porter messenger bag from me. One of the locations was muddy. I was cringing because my Yohji Yamamoto sneakers were getting encased in mud. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him my sneakers were PhP 15,000.00, and he was shocked in the most cute and concerned kind of way. He saw dirt on my bag, and he started brushing it off. I laughingly told him he'd be aghast to know that the bag was more expensive than my shoes, and I was right. He smiled.

He needed money to use the restroom. I told him to just get it from my wallet. He was shocked because I had PhP 10,000 pocket money and SGD 400 in the wallet.

One of the challenges called for us to row a boat in Burnham Park to get a flag. He was having a hard time rowing, and I wasn't because I must have done this in Baguio a hundred times already. He was so ashamed and kept apologizing to me. I didn't mind because at the back of my mind the thought of rowing in Burnham Park with him was one of the sweetest experiences I've had of the man-made lake.

I was watching a movie in the living room of the cottage Saturday evening, and he was drinking with his friends in the dining area. He would bring shots of vodka and soda to me in the living room. He offered a body shot. 

"And when will I hold you again?"

He's straight. He's married. He has two kids.

I'm gay. I'm in a relationship. I'm happy.

I don't know how he factors in.

All I know is that I'm a spoiled brat who lives in a condo, drives around in SUVs, and dines out in expensive restaurants almost nightly. On weekends, I grudgingly go home to my family's house in New Manila, where I plan dinner menus, or make reservations for restaurants.

He's a family man who lives in Cavite with his wife and two kids. I don't think he owns a car. His wife cooks for him. His kids wait for him to come home.

We're worlds apart. And I don't mean this in any belittling manner.

But at random moments, I end up thinking of him. The ride back to Manila from Baguio, all the songs in my iPod made me smile randomly, because all I thought of was him.

Going to Singapore in a couple of days with my boyfriend. I will make better memories there.

BDO: We Find Ways of Inconveniencing You

I have an account with SM Makati BDO. I have a trip to Singapore this May 16, so I contacted my branch last May 2 to order SGD 400. I was informed by the woman I spoke with that it will take 3-5 banking days for the SGD to arrive. I called the branch last May 8, on the 5th banking day, to check if the SGD is available, and they informed me that these arrived last May 4 (the 3rd banking day) and since it was unclaimed, it was returned to the supplier. I asked them why they did not contact me, and they told me that it was not their practice. I informed them that they gave me a time frame of 3-5 banking days, so naturally, I would call on the 5th day to give them leeway, so why am I being inconvenienced by the return of the SGD on the 3rd banking day. 

On May 8, the man I spoke to, and with whom I ordered the SGD for the 2nd time, assured me that for the inconvenience I experienced, he will ensure that on May 10 he or someone from the bank, will contact me as soon as the SGD arrives. Nobody called me from the branch, I ended up calling to follow up if the SGD was there, only to discover that I needed to present my passport and e-ticket in order to get the SGD. 

The previous people I spoke with have not informed me at all of these. It was a good thing that my e-ticket was readily available, but my passport was in the condo. I am gravely disappointed that BDO does not value the simple joys their account holders get from the basic courtesies that should be expected from banks. It is very different from BPI who knows how to take care of its account holders. They contact you if your checkbook is available, if your SGD is available, or if your ATM is available already. 

I know I'm just one person, and that my account with your bank is nothing, but regardless of the client, BDO has to do a better job of taking care of us, of giving us value. A simple call to inform your clients of the availability of the third party currency that they ordered will only cost a couple of minutes (landline is free calls) from the time of your bank employees, and yet will make a big difference in ensuring that we are kept satisfied.

Liberty Chan of Landmark

Jay-Li's complete name is Liberty Chan. She is with Landmark's customer service. She condescendingly referred to me as ITONG BAKLANG ITO when I had a valid issue with how they issued a sales invoice to my staff when we had requested for an OR. Their customer service staff did not mention at all that the tape receipt is an OR.

Clearly, Landmark's customer service table was at fault in this issue, and yet, Ms. Liberty Chan, instead of owning up to their mistake as a department, called me a faggot instead.

Her name means freedom, yet she deprived me of my right to be treated like any other customer regardless of my preference.

I may be one voice, nobody may listen to my words, but I will not allow other homosexuals to be treated with the same disgust that this woman has accorded me.

We deserve better treatment.

We are not lesser citizens because of our preference. We pay our taxes. We contribute to economic growth. Our efforts and hardwork ensure others of jobs. And yet I was not good enough for Ms. Liberty Chan.

Itong Baklang Ito

I was liquidating receipts from last week's event when I noticed that 3 of the official receipts from Landmark Makati were actually just sales invoices. These were dated March 21, March 22, and March 26.

I had one of the complex's messengers go to Landmark's customer service table to have these replaced with official receipts. He came back saying that Landmark refused to give him official receipts, and that the tape receipts the cash registers issue are actually official receipts already. Perplexed, I called the customer service table to clarify what went wrong. On one of the dates, I was actually with my staff when we purchased the items, and we were directed to the customer service table at the ground level when my assistant asked for an official receipt. I explained to her that I needed to have the receipts liquidated with my accounting department, and that I need the tape receipts that were left with them. She told me that these were not going to be released within 24 hours, and that it would take a week.

It was quite unacceptable especially since I was sure that their customer service personnel did not inform any of my staff that they would only be issuing sales invoices. The woman I spoke to on the phone was explaining to me that the tape receipts were the official receipts and that the written receipts they issue are just sales invoices, and that they inform the people who go to the customer service table of this. I told her we were not informed, since in one of the instances, I was there, and we were not informed at all of that particular condition. I asked her who was on duty on those dates, and she, Li-J Chua/Chan was on duty during all three dates. I insisted that the tape receipts be located at once since the non-information came from their end.

She couldn't understand what I needed, or my defense. She asked to put me on hold.

Obviously, their phones do not have mute buttons, and she just tried to cover the speaker of the handset and said to her co-worker, "Hindi ko na maintindihan ITONG BAKLANG ITO. Ang hirap kausap. Nasaan na ba ang supervisor natin?"

I heard everything. As soon as the phone was given to her supervisor Cynthia, I asked if they had mute buttons over the phone. I informed Cynthia that I heard what Li-J had said, and that I resented being called BAKLA. I told her that what Li-J said was such a bigot statement. She did not know what bigot meant, so I defined it to her:

"...a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance."

I told her not to go anywhere, and that I would go to Landmark to tell them what I want. 

Upon arriving at the customer service table, I announced to the three women seated there that the BAKLA has arrived. Nandito na itong BAKLANG ito. 

Li-J couldn't even speak to me. I told her that I wasn't taking our conversation personally, and that she was the one who made it personal by calling me using a derogatory term. I told her I never called her pobre, bobo, puta, or... since she was Filipino-Chinese, Intsik-Bejong abnormal. 

She made it personal by calling me a BAKLA. My parents did not pay for an Ateneo education just for this woman to belittle me and my sexual preference. I did not work my butt off to get into UP Diliman just for her to regard me so lowly by calling me a faggot. I told her that it was not right to call black people NIGGERS, and that she will not call black people like that to their faces. I told her it was not right to call homosexuals faggots, and that BAKLA is tantamount to saying FAGGOT. 

Unfortunately for her, this BAKLA is not your ordinary parlor gay. This BAKLA lives in fancy houses, in condominiums, drives around in fancy SUVs, wears hundred thousand peso watches, and sports the latest and most expensive technology pieces. I am no ordinary BAKLA. 

What type of customer service does Landmark offer if one of their regular employees, like Li-J, would just loosely call people using derogatory terms. What type of management does Landmark have if they tolerate bigots in the workplace?

A crowd of salesladies arrived to watch the scene. I made things interactive for them. Pointed to two, and asked them if they were regular employees or contractual employees. They were contractual employees. I asked one of them if they would call a customer they were speaking to over the phone BAKLA. She replied she wouldn't because she respects the people she interacts with at work, co-workers or customers. 

RESPECT.

I was not respected by Li-J. To her, I was nothing but some makulit na BAKLA. 

I am a Filipino. I work and pay my taxes. I work hard and contribute to the countries GDP. I am a Filipino and yet I am not accorded with the same rights that my heterosexual counterparts are given. I cannot marry the person I love here in my country. I will have to go to some foreign land and marry my boyfriend there, but my country will never recognize our union. Our assets will never be shared. As much as I want to share everything with him, I can only put my name or his name at each property that we buy. I am not given the same rights as my countrymen and to make things worse, I am not respected by the staff of Landmark just because of my preference. To Landmark, I am a third class citizen regardless of how much I spend in their department store. 

7-day suspension is not enough. After that, she returns to work and its as if nothing has happened. If indeed Landmark does not tolerate bigots, they should let her go. I will no longer be able to shop freely in their department store because I now have the impression that all their salesladies are bigots, if their regular employee manning customer service is given free reign at calling customers derogatory terms.
 
If she is let go, she will find another job and forget everything that happened to her today, March 27th. I will have to live with the fact that a Landmark employee insulted me, when my complaint was right, when it was indeed their lapse for not informing us of the ORs and sales invoices. 


Where is the justice?