Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer

borrowed from http://intrepid-llc.com/branding/new-book-cover-design/

I hope people aren't sick of what is turning out as a series for the bane of my existence at work. The picture is cute, isn't it? Apparently, there's a book entitled Shedding the Corporate Bitch. I personally have not seen a copy, but I will check Amazon later.

I had once been asked by an officemate of my boyfriend if I enjoyed working in the corporate world. You see, their world is different. In their office, the women dress up, wear stilettos, and get paid to shop. I told her I wasn't enjoying it because backstabbing is part of the culture, and bitchiness is the name of the game. Truly, it is in my current job where I was really able to apply the adage, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

I attended a board meeting today (yes, it doesn't get any more corporate than that.. a board meeting!). One of the board of directors posted I question about an event that we held last December. She asked why we did not charge the extra guests an entrance fee. I knew the answer rather well, that the other faction of the organization that I work for, led by a sly old Chinese bitch, ordered the dumb bitch-that-I-hate-so-much co-manager of mine not to charge anymore. That Chinese bitch, and dumb bitch co-manager are really such a good team. So what did I do? Well, dumb bitch co-manager was on leave and wasn't in the board meeting, so I, after my uber-evil mind ad calculated the damage to her and to myself, told the truth. I told everyone that dumb bitch co-manager ordered that we don't charge the extra guests anymore. Everybody was shocked! Who is she to order that we don't charge the extra guests?

Of course within minutes, my boss who was in the same meeting, sent me a message to scold me. Get the facts straight, he said. Oh please, it doesn't get more straight than that! I knew he was going to scold me for telling the truth, because dumb-bitch co-manager is his pet. And of course dumb bitch co-manager who was but a text message away defended herself by saying that she only ordered that extra guests don't pay for the people directly under her jurisdiction. Oh please, like we don't belong to a complex linked to each other! If you order that people under your jurisdiction, the other two jursdictions shouldn't pay as well, otherwise, they would question why they're paying. Furthermore, the people in her jurisdiction were the ones who brought their entire baranggays to the event! Hello?!?

Get my facts straight. Well, yes, to get my facts straight, I did what was right. I was to be scolded in the process, but it was a smile price to pay for the chink that I caused dumb bitch co-manager's armor.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Why did I bring that up? Because I had a little skit during the board meeting. I knew the scolding was going to come, by text, not as much expected. But as soon as I received the scolding, I acted dumb. Like, oops, I didn't know it wasn't that way (think Elle Woods in Legally Blonde clueless, but brilliant!). I still come out clean. A bit ditzy, but still clean. After all, I'm just the poor little rich boy who was hired to handle the socials, and other kasosyalan of the complex. All I know is to shop, right?

She really has to be careful of me. I'm evil. I learned from the best. My high school was really good training ground for these acts of deviousness. I survived an evil pack of fags in high school, and I still came out to be the clueless ditz who couldn't harm a fly. Well, they didn't see anything coming.

Watch out for more of my brand of corporate politics. If I'm successful, I will be shedding that dumb corporate bitch.